The worst day to end the worst week

Today sucked. Hard. I woke up at 6:00AM to get ready and drive to Mishawaka High School and take the ACTs. I did so badly. I thought I did well on the SATs and then I got an email with my scores today. I'm in the 28 percentile in math. Let me put it this way, I've never scored below a 90% on a standardized test. Like I said, I thought I had done well on it. And I can't imagine how bad my ACTs will be, since I don't even feel like I did well on them. They did get out early, which is a good thing.

So I drove home to eat and change. That's when I checked my mail and found my SAT scores. Which made me feel terrible. Actually, I was terrified. My cumulative GPA is a 3.1, I got a 1610 on the SATs, I am finishing with a Core 40 diploma, and I don't have a math class past Algebra II. I am not getting into college, at least not IU. I could go to Ivy Tech, IUSB, IUSB-E, Southwestern Michigan College, but I refuse to go to a school with less than 15,000 students, and I refuse to go to a community college. If IU and Ball State reject me, I won't go to college. Which isn't terrible; it's just not what I had planned. I will just keep working at ABC Warehouse, until I have enough money to leave the country and become a hippie in the streets of South America.

I got to work at 2:00PM. From 2-6PM I did nothing but count and put sticky notes on boxes. When we were supposed to start scanning, the scan gun we were given did not work. We sent someone to pick one up from the South Bend store, after an hour of trying to fix it. Eventually, another department finished and we used their gun. After several hours of scanning and typing, the final counts were in. We printed the deviations and went to work counting things by hand. By this time it was probably 9PM. By 10:00PM my department was the only one not finished. We finished by 10:30 and as we tried frantically to get our section of the store reorganized, they turned off the lights and made us leave. There is so much crap in the register area that you can't see the floor. The boxes still have sticky notes. It is repulsive. And yet, the manager wanted to leave, so he kicked us out, saying we can clean it tomorrow. Here's the problem with his plan--it's a two-parter--1) Sunday is our busiest day of the week 2)I am the only one working tomorrow, which is quite a feat when there's no work to do. So I am completely screwed, but everybody else gets to enjoy their weekend.

I still have a portfolio to do. I wanted to get ahead. I wanted to not have to worry about schoolwork. I wanted to rest and recuperate from this hellish week. But you don't always get what you want. I am so upset; I want to cry, but I made a decision that I won't cry over stress again. It's weak and doesn't get you anywhere. But still, I want to.